Humor

Humor / Me — Comments
30
Nov 09

The almost definitive list of things couples should never share

After 10+ years of coupledom, one would either assume that I would get over some things or at the least, my husband will get the hint.  Well, neither has happened, so here we go:

Things Couples Should Never Share

  1. Bath towels. If you didn’t take it out of the cabinet and put it on my shelf, you don’t use it.
  2. Razors. Our hairs are different.
  3. Banking accounts.
  4. Thin Mints. I’m almost positive this is in the Torah, Qur’an and Bible.
  5. Sentimental T-shirts. Do you see me in your De La Soul tee? Nope.
  6. Computers.

There are other things that go without saying, but this is over 10 years of deep research.  I bet people who’ve been together longer can add more. Take vacations. For some reason most of my friends and family with 15+ years of marriage, rarely take vacations with their partners. It works for them!

******

I asked the man to give me his list. Here’s what he came up with:

  1. Toothbrush
  2. Socks
  3. Underwear
  4. Almond Accents (Roasted Garlic Flavor) – [back off bitch... I'll cut you!! Yeah it's like that!]
  5. Toenail clippers
  6. Eggplant Parmesan sandwich
Eh… everything else is fair game.  Cheerios!
******
Just posterity’s sake, I must say that there is no way in hell, I’d use his toothbrush, socks or underwear. GAG. Number 5 is interesting since, you know, he’s been using my toenail clippers. ;P
Humor / Pop Culture / Quotes — Comments
2
Sep 09

MMMMMM MMMMM bitch!

Humor / People / idiocy — Comments
2
Sep 09

*headdesk*

I just had the most painful conversation of the week:

Me: I’m calling to confirm that the appoitment for my son is today is at 1:30.

Receptionist: What’s your name?

Me: It’s a Anika, but the appointment is for my son

Receptionist: Oh. Okay. What’s your name?

I start spelling my name.

Receptionist: I can’t find it.

Me: You asked me for my name. This appointment is for my son. I just want to make sure it’s for today and not tomorrow.

Receptionist: Didn’t you write it down?

Me: I put it in my phone, but the girl I spoke to said something like, “It’s set up for the 2nd, I mean the 3rd” or vice versa.

Receptionist: Your son’s name is Vice Versa?

Me: What? [laughs] No, his name is Alton.

Receptionist: Oh. What is his first name?

Me: That is his first name.

Receptionist: Oh, that’s a weird first name.

Me [thinking]: This coming from a lady who thought Vice Versa was a name???

Me: Anyway…is his appointment today or tomorrow?

Receptionist: Spell his name.

Me: [spells name]

Receptionist: Has he been here before?

Me: No.

Receptionist: Oh, okay. Then we won’t have him in the system.

Me: [sigh] Look. I set up an appointment for him last week. It’s either today at 1:30 or tomorrow at 1:30. You will not make me believe that since he’s never been there before, he’s not listed for an appointment. That makes no sense.

Receptionist: Oh. Um.  Okay. It’s today at 1:30.

Me: *headdesk*

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Auto / Humor — Comments
16
Mar 09

Win a chance to buy me a car!

 

Kia Soul

Kia Soul

New for Spring 2009, the awesome opportunity to purchase a Kia Soul for my personal use.  Enter the Spring Faboo Mama Needs a Car Sweepstakes* for your chance to buy me a 2010 Kia Soul.  

Contest winners get the bragging rights to say they bought me a car.  I’ll highlight your blog/business in a post on faboomama.com and even let you put a banner ad on the site for a year. 

This opportunity happens like never, so hurry up and enter before the contest ends in June 2009!

CONTEST RULES: You must be 18 to enter and be able to pay the full price of the car. Contest open to everyone in the world. 2010 Kia Soul Sport (MSRP of $19,845). Deadline to enter is June 20th, 2009.  2nd place winner can pay my car insurance for 3 years  and a small button ad for a year. 3rd place winner gets to buy me a year’s worth of gas and will receive a text ad for a year.

*This is tongue-in-cheek.

Internet Confession Time — Comments
10
Mar 09

Internet Confession Time: Videos

I haven’t seen the Two Girls, One Cup video and I think my life is just fine. I don’t get the references to it and I’m quite okay with that.

Internet Confession Time — Comments
9
Mar 09

Internet Confession Time: SD Cards

Transcend 8GB SDHC Class 6 Memory Card
Image via Wikipedia

I never pretend to be all tech geeky. I free admit that after all these years I finally figured out the acronym BSOD means Blue Screen Of Death. But yesterday I learned what SD in SD card meant. It stands for Secure Digital. How about that? I never bothered to care about what it was, but now that I know, I feel dumb for not knowing (or caring) before.

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Birthdays / Internet Confession Time — Comments
5
Mar 09

Internet Confession Time: Birthdays

4 of my 5 uncles were born in March. I know the dates, but I not kept track of which uncle belongs to which date. So…I wait until the 27th, when is the last day I know for sure there’s a birthday, and call all of them.

Internet Confession Time — Comments
4
Mar 09

Internet Confession Time: Xbox

Whenever I see Major Nelson’s (from Xbox) tweets about hitting the gym. I always want to reply: Get a Wii!

Advertising / Internet / Internet Confession Time — Comments
3
Mar 09

Internet Confession Time: Hunger

This is what runs through my mind when I’m starving and looking for something to eat:

Humor / Internet / YouTube — Comments
24
Oct 08

And Ode to Mrs. Palin

It’s official, this campaign has a lot more funny than the last one.

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