Mar 10

It’s no secret that I prefer, no, love summer. I like the heat. I adore days that seemingly last forever.  There is a reason I’d never move any place where it snows more than one day a winter. Somehow, this winter seems longer than others and I’m not too happy about that. I could blame the weird, cooler weather in fall on the nearby fires. It feels like it’s been raining every week since December. There was that bright spot in the middle of February when it hit 81 degrees for 3 days in a row.

I want that back.

I need the sun kissing my skin.


Nov 09

The almost definitive list of things couples should never share

After 10+ years of coupledom, one would either assume that I would get over some things or at the least, my husband will get the hint.  Well, neither has happened, so here we go:

Things Couples Should Never Share

  1. Bath towels. If you didn’t take it out of the cabinet and put it on my shelf, you don’t use it.
  2. Razors. Our hairs are different.
  3. Banking accounts.
  4. Thin Mints. I’m almost positive this is in the Torah, Qur’an and Bible.
  5. Sentimental T-shirts. Do you see me in your De La Soul tee? Nope.
  6. Computers.

There are other things that go without saying, but this is over 10 years of deep research.  I bet people who’ve been together longer can add more. Take vacations. For some reason most of my friends and family with 15+ years of marriage, rarely take vacations with their partners. It works for them!


I asked the man to give me his list. Here’s what he came up with:

  1. Toothbrush
  2. Socks
  3. Underwear
  4. Almond Accents (Roasted Garlic Flavor) – [back off bitch... I'll cut you!! Yeah it's like that!]
  5. Toenail clippers
  6. Eggplant Parmesan sandwich
Eh… everything else is fair game.  Cheerios!
Just posterity’s sake, I must say that there is no way in hell, I’d use his toothbrush, socks or underwear. GAG. Number 5 is interesting since, you know, he’s been using my toenail clippers. ;P

Oct 09

Broke and Trying to Move

This is difficult. It’s not just the stress, anger, resentment and sentimental bits. This is an uphill battle I’m fighting alone. I’m trying to keep things at home as stable as possible for the kids. I think one day, I should tell them that they’ll be attending new schools…somewhere. Where is the issue.

I have no idea where we’re moving to. I just know I have about 6 weeks to figure it out. This means, at the very least, packing. Sadly, being broke means I can not even buy boxes. There used to be a time where you could go pick up boxes outside a grocery store. Nowadays, they cut the boxes so they can’t be used again or they consider taking boxes “stealing” and will call the cops. Craigslist is useless and no one seems to be getting rid of moving boxes on Freecycle. All of this moot because we have no place to put the boxes.

I’ve learned in the past week that storage areas are expensive. I’ve never used one before and never really thought much of what my friends were spending monthly on their storage places. It’s been eye-opening to see a 5′x5′ space can cost as much as $120 a month. For all of our stuff, we’d need at least a 20′x30′ space. Yes. That’s what I’ve whittled our crap down to.

Of course, it would be less stressful if I could find a place to rent, but lacking funds in the bank makes that impossible. It is slowly dawning on me that there is a very real chance that we’ll have to live in our car (can you imagine 4 people in a Mini Cooper?!) or in a shelter, if I can find one that will take a family, including a husband. Most seem to focus on women & children. I supposed my husband could move in with his mom at that point, but that may be a bit much for the kids to handle along with the move.

It’s times like these where I wish I had learned camping skills or at the very least, had friends or family I could rely on if only for a week. Live and learn. I’ve been homeless before. I didn’t like it, but it was just me. This is very different when there’s two little ones to consider. People tell me things will get better. I hope so.

Sep 09


After the race I have a bad habit of just throwing myself into things and then dropping them. Or worse, thinking of doing something and then never getting around to it in forever. I don’t have a support system like most. When I announce my ideas, they usually get shot down. Yet, I’ve learned that when I say “I will” then the naysayers tend to shut up.

One thing that bugs me about a lot of people I know is that they often announce what they plan to do, yet never follow through. You know the types, “Next week, I’m going to start working out.” “In two months, I’m going to start looking for a job.” “Next year, I think I want to travel.” Those are admirable plans, but there are no goals involved. Why are you going to workout? What kind of job are you seeking? Where do you want to go? There are no answers. You hear them state these things so often, that you tend to tune the out.

In July, I decided that I was going to run the LA Marathon in 2010. So far, the response has been muted. This is in contrast to when I had announced my plans to run the Marathon this year (before the date change and injuries). I found that the people in my life were extremely unsupportive. Where a simple, “Way to go!” would have sufficed, I got responses like, “You? Run? HAHAHA” or “I guess you have to stop smoking.” or the lamest, “You couldn’t get my fat ass to run anywhere.” [Selfish side note: When I say that I'm running, I don't need to hear about YOU.]  I have always been aware that there are those who will never support your endeavors because they’re too scared to try anything.  It’s easy for them to mock you when you just announce vague plans. It’s harder for them when you have them etched in stone.

But sometimes we sabotage ourselves. I certainly have. And I have to be on the lookout for it. I haven’t been able to run or exercise for some time now. First, we went to the Bay Area. Then we had 2 weeks of bad air quality due to fires and a concurrent heatwave. Now I’m sick. The urge for me to exercise is still there, but I know that all it takes is one more week and I’ll be back to doing nothing. This is unthinkable with my goal to run the LA Marathon. So I’ve decided to come up with smaller goals to help me achieve the larger one.

These are my smaller goals:


  • 50 sit ups
  • 100 jumpropes
  • Walk my kids to school


  • Run 3x a week
  • Tennis once a week
  • 1 hour of cardio 3x a week
  • Swim laps 2x a week


  • Run a 5K or 10K
  • Go hiking.
  • Bike

Seeing this list broken down into small attainable goals already makes it easier on me to see the as doable. Besides, now that this out there, I can’t not do it. You can keep me honest by checking in on my MapMyFitness profile.

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May 09

So long baby stuff; or I better not be pregnant

Tomorrow, my plan is go to Out of the The Closet and donate the baby stuff cluttering the garage and closets.  Our youngest is 3 and everyone who knows me knows that I am not interested in making our family larger. Everyone who knows me has no interest in being around me when I’m pregnant.

What’s taken so long? Fear. I’m scared that I will get rid of the baby stuff and find out I’m pregnant again. Fear to make a decision is pretty paralyzing, I’ve learned. When we found out where were pregnant with the boy, we were broke. We also had to buy a lot of new stuff because I gave things away to friends who needed them. Thankfully, midway through that pregnancy we got more work and were able to afford to buy the things. Things don’t look so rosy now, so I’m paralyzed. What if I give away everything only to find out in a few months that I’ll need them again? Two years is a long time to live with that fear. It’s better to be optimistic, to think that maybe I can just buy the items back from Out of The Closet.

So, I bid farewell to the 2 diaper bags, 2 highchair seats, baby tub, toy mats, 2 carseats, 3 infant slings, the diaper pail, the potty seat, the 2 potty inserts and all those baby clothes I’ve never managed to unload.

But…maybe I’ll buy some pregnancy tests first.

Apr 09

Why my husband rocks

There’s really nothing more to add. Just read this thread from FriendFeed:

Apr 09

Let’s Hear it For the Boy!

As much as I bitch about my husband, he does rock. He cooks 90% of our meals.  Since I hurt my back in 2000 he’s been doing the dishes. He bathes the kids because he knows that stresses my back too.  And yesterday, he’s (almost) redeemed himself.

Since he does dishes, my chore is laundry. Yesterday, he did all the laundry that I planted as land mines in the hallway.  They’ve been sorted since Wednesday and ready to go, but the back thing made it impossible to get to.  Now, all of us have clean clothes. Yay! He also finally watered the backyard plants. So, they’re not completely shriveled in this heat.

So, I’m happier today than I was yesterday and that’s not just the drugs talking.

Mar 09

Anika’s Grand Wishes

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Jul 08

It’s the little things

I’m the #2 Plurker in Los Angeles.


Thank you, thank you…I still need to get SamProof out of my life. There was a day back in June when I was the #1 Plurker, but it must have been a glitch because Sam was nowhere to be seen. But as you can see, I’m gaining on him in the supremely stupid Karma category.

I want to thank my plurkbuddies for being such wondering and interesting conversationalists. They keep me laughing and sane throughout the day. Feel free to drop in on my plurk page and join the fun.

Mar 08

Where to go?

I have credit for plane tickets on Southwest and I need to use them by August. As of now, we don’t have the money to go anywhere, but Southwest just announced their low fare sale. So, instead of going to Kansas City, where we’ll have free rooms, I’m thinking of somewhere else. I can get to Chicago, DC, Seattle or New Orleans…or we can leave the kids here and go to Hawaii. Yeah, that last one won’t happen. Ilia is eager to go to Chicago, since she thinks we’ll see Sen. Obama there. Weirdo. I kinda want to go to DC. Seattle sounds interesting and we could stay with family and/or friends, but it seems like it will be cold in April.

Then I have to consider hotel and transportation. I’ll need to get a suite for all 4 of us, or two adjoining rooms. I’ve let my AAA membership lapse, so there’s no discount there. I know rooms in Chicago are pricey, but I also have family there. I heard that rooms in DC are every pricier. Getting around in all these cities should be a piece of cake, right? They all have public transportation that doesn’t suck.

This is a hard decision. I know the kids will love Chicago, but I really want to go to the Smithsonian Museum. I also think that Seattle would be fun for us all and the kids can meet my uncle and some cousins along with friends and their kids.

What to do, what to do?