Jun 10

Activities That Take Less Time Than Registering for Swim Classes at Richard Alatorre Pool

There’s incompetence and then there’s mind blowing WTFness that makes you worry that the people in charge are capable driving, breeding and/or voting. Today’s experience registering for swim classes definitely fall into the latter. With only 36 families in front of us, what should have taken, at the most 10 minutes, took a little under 3 hours. Two hours and 51 minutes, to be exact.

How is such buffoonery possible? Well, first off, they would not pass out registration papers to us while we were standing on line. Considering some people were registering 3+ children, logic would dictate that making the registration forms available would have been the most efficient way to handle this. When I spoke to the woman handing out the forms, she said that she’s only handing out 10 at time so that she won’t get confused.


Her exact words were, “Well, whether you have them now or get them later, you still have to stand in line.” I said, “I get that, I just thought I’d spend my time effectively. I thought this would be…efficient.” She just looked at me.

As we got closer to the front, I overheard her talking to other parents. That’s when I learned that the line wasn’t just for swim classes, but also for people signing up for team sports or the Jr. Lifeguard program. Once again, logic dictates that separating us into 3 separate lines would be the best course of action. Especially since, I also learned that after you filled out the registration papers, you’d have to go stand on one of these lines anyway.

What it came down to was that I got to spend 2 hours in the sun, standing on line to get a piece of paper that I could complete. Once that was done, I was given the opportunity to stand on yet another line, to give that paper to someone else.

I can think of several ways this registration could have gone so much faster. Making the registration forms available online, would be awesome. Even better, would be to allow for online registration in the first place. The multiple line suggestion above would have worked wonders, too.

Then I started thinking about other things I could have done that wouldn’t have taken nearly as long:

  1. Getting a new license at the DMV. Hell, doing anything at the DMV.
  2. Standing on line for a ride at Disneyland.
  3. Getting a DBA.
  4. Filing for unemployment benefits.
  5. Going through airport security. Internationally.
  6. Finding parking in West Hollywood during Pride.
  7. Getting an outside table at Doughboys.
  8. Listening to a speech by Bill Clinton.
  9. Getting inside the Federal Building.
  10. Visiting an IRS office.
  11. Driving to San Diego, Palm Springs or Santa Barbara.
  12. A dinner cruise in Long Beach.
  13. Watching TWO soccer matches.

I could go on, but what it boils down to is that whoever was the mastermind of today’s events should be fired. Immediately. Or at the very least, someone with half a brain should be in charge of registration from here on out.

Dec 09

New York Times suggest gifts for the people of color in your life

On FriendFeed, I was alerted to the fact that the New York Time’s Gift Guide for 2009, included a whole section for the people of color in your life.


I freely admit to being slightly amused by it. At first I thought it was a joke, but seeing articles and tweets about it, made me realize that it was an actual part of their guide. In 2009.

Naturally, I had to look it up myself. And…uh…well, read:

>>Of Color | Stylish Gifts


Somali fashion, do-it-yourself henna kits, children’s books that draw inspiration from the lives of Barack Obama and Sonia Sotomayor: it’s not hard to find gifts created for and by people of color this holiday season. Here are some possibilities.

There are some defensive people out there who think this is positively acceptable. They point out that the author of the section is black, so that makes it okay. Get it?

Now, I read some of the different suggestions on NYTPicker and kept thinking, “This has to be a joke.”, but uh…well…

For your Latino friends…

sotomayor Continue reading →

Dec 09

Top 5 questions people say when they hear you don’t want to have more kids

I stumbled across this article titled: 9 Silly Things People Say When They Hear You Don’t Want Kids (And Ways to Counter Them). Just from that you know that the author is one of those so-in-love-with-their-own-cleverness sorts. Not that’s bad, but you know…you can come off like a jackass. I should know. I’m that sort.

That being said, the author has been kind enough to give unreasonably stupid responses to the unreasonably stupid questions nosy people ask or unreasonably stupid statements they make when they find you don’t want children.

The only one that was rather amusing was:

5. “But they’re so cute!”

This is a topping good reason to buy a Hello Kitty “vibrator,” but to bring a whole new person into existence?

We hadn’t planned on having kids. Even though I was asked these questions (which I do think is extremely rude), I was never a jackass like the author and most childless-by-choice people I see online. People did tell us that we’d change our minds and clearly we did. Otherwise, my stock answer to strangers asking “Do you plan on having children?” was “Not at the moment.” Pushers got ruder responses. To my friends, I typically responded, “The day after never!”

Having kids does NOT stop these rude questions. I have a girl and a boy and people still push us to procreate. When I get the questions below, I just, smile and say, “Yeah…we’re done.” (Hey! Who says I lack tact?)

1. “Well, I was raised in a large family. I loved the chaos. “

That’s great. For you. But I have to raise that chaos. My two already create enough chaos for me.

2. “But don’t you think your daughter should have a sister/son should have a brother?”

I have one of each and my husband has no siblings. We turned out just fine.

3. “But you make such cute babies.”

Your point?

4. “But what if something happens to one of them?”

My. Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine?

5. “You’ll change your mind.”

Just because celebrities have babies in their 50s doesn’t mean I want to join them. As it is, having these two in my 30s have wiped out all of my energy reserves.

Also note, the ones who push you to procreate are NEVER around when you need a sitter.

Sep 09


I just had the most painful conversation of the week:

Me: I’m calling to confirm that the appoitment for my son is today is at 1:30.

Receptionist: What’s your name?

Me: It’s a Anika, but the appointment is for my son

Receptionist: Oh. Okay. What’s your name?

I start spelling my name.

Receptionist: I can’t find it.

Me: You asked me for my name. This appointment is for my son. I just want to make sure it’s for today and not tomorrow.

Receptionist: Didn’t you write it down?

Me: I put it in my phone, but the girl I spoke to said something like, “It’s set up for the 2nd, I mean the 3rd” or vice versa.

Receptionist: Your son’s name is Vice Versa?

Me: What? [laughs] No, his name is Alton.

Receptionist: Oh. What is his first name?

Me: That is his first name.

Receptionist: Oh, that’s a weird first name.

Me [thinking]: This coming from a lady who thought Vice Versa was a name???

Me: Anyway…is his appointment today or tomorrow?

Receptionist: Spell his name.

Me: [spells name]

Receptionist: Has he been here before?

Me: No.

Receptionist: Oh, okay. Then we won’t have him in the system.

Me: [sigh] Look. I set up an appointment for him last week. It’s either today at 1:30 or tomorrow at 1:30. You will not make me believe that since he’s never been there before, he’s not listed for an appointment. That makes no sense.

Receptionist: Oh. Um.  Okay. It’s today at 1:30.

Me: *headdesk*

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Oct 08

GoAnimate Stereotypes

On FriendFeed, I learned of a new site called GoAnimate where you can create your own cartoons.  I enjoyed just watching what others made, but decided to get creative myself.

It’s a nice service and easy to use, especially if you’ve used any kind of video or audio software. The site is pretty new, so there are not that many backgrounds, people or props available. Sound effects are nil and some of the effects render some scenes useless. It takes a lot of forethought to put together the puzzle pieces in creating fluid scenes.

But I want to backtrack to the people options. When you click on the face icon, you get 4 choices to for your people. When you choose the “Cartoon Classics” option, you’re faced with a lot of white characters and 3 black(ish) men. The men are: a mail carrier, thug and basketball player. There’s a Latino construction worker and an Asian geek. There’s one non-pasty white female, but she’s skanky-looking and has blond hair. I’ll assume she’s super tan.

Is this what the artists behind GoAnimate were gearing towards? There’s no option, like say on Second Life, GoLively or IMVU, where you can darken a character’s skin or change their body type. I understand that you can create your own person, but that sorta defeats the purpose of the service; to allow non-animators the ability to be creative.

Hopefully, this is just a small oversight and people of color will be represented in non-stereotypical ways.

Sep 08

Uppity Obamas

The Black Snob shares with us that it’s official, the Obamas are ‘uppity’.

Rep. Lynn Westmoreland, R-Ga., was chewing the fat with reporters in the U.S. Capitol and was asked to compare Sarah Palin and Michelle Obama.

“Just from what little I’ve seen of her and Mr. Obama, Senator Obama, they’re a member of an elitist-class individual that thinks they’re uppity.”

“Asked to clarify that he used the word ‘uppity,’ Westmoreland said, ‘Uppity, yeah,’ ” the newspaper The Hill reported.

-Seattle Post-Intelligencer

They even trying to hide it any more. Shocker? Nope.  Par for the course in the GOP.

Sep 08

Republican hypocrisy

And the GOP assault on my intelligence continues.  The newest being this whole Palin baby drama. In a statement from Gov. Palin, she said that she outed her minor daughter’s current pregnancy to rebut rumors online that the baby born in April was really said daughter’s.  I’m at a loss as to how this is a rebuttal. In my world, an adult response would have been something like, “I refuse to discuss unfounded and offensive rumors regarding my minor child.” But that’s just me.

The hypocrisy in all this is that GOPs tsk-tsking over online rumors being given credence. Nevermind that by acknowledging those rumors the McCain-Palin campaign gave them life, therefore forcing the national media to delve into them. Surely, the GOP is above spreading unfounded rumors online, right?

  • This is the political party who has an operative spending almost $3M on Ayers ads.
  • This is the political party who to this day still accuse Obama of being a Muslim as if there’s anything wrong with that.
  • This is the political party who gave us “McCain has a black baby” (NOTE: We never see the ‘black baby’ with the McCain’s as they campaign, be we do see his biological daughter.)
  • This is the political party who spent almost 6 months repeating over and over that Michelle Obama said “whitey”, without a shred of evidence and they’re still trying to force this rumor.
  • This is the political party who accuses Sen. Clinton of being a murderer.

All of a sudden, these people are trying to convince me and the US that they are just shocked and amazed that online rumors are fueling our political discourse. I’d like to say the general American public isn’t that dumb, but history has proven otherwise.

Jul 08

Some people are too sensitive

You may or may not have heard of Loren Feldman. If you have, I’m sorry. If you haven’t, you’re lucky. I’m not going to get into too much detail, but let’s just say Feldman is something of a verbal masturbater who thinks his video works are great satire. Personally, I think they’re giant yawners and shows that Feldman has no fucking clue about any of the stuff he says he’s satirizing.

Recently, there’s been some Schadenfreude among social media geeks and bloggers because Feldman lost a contract with Verizon over his TechNigga’ “satire”.  Oh well, it sucks to be him.  No one will ever accuse Feldman of being a fair guy or being able to roll with the punches.

I’m sure I’m breaching some kind of netiquette, but frankly don’t give a fuck…this shit killed me:

“Finally going through my followers list here, never looked to see who people were before. Blocking people by the hundreds.”

All because of a little public humiliation…something he does to others all the time.

Zemanta Pixie

Jun 08

Is the Carlin corpse-fucking done?

*Disclaimer*: I’m one of many people who never thought George Carlin was funny and who believed that he ruined Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

Now, honestly people…why is it that just about every political blog has been spammed with the 30 year old “comedy” bits that weren’t funny 30 years ago?  I don’t get it.  Carlin didn’t contribute anything to society, at least to the world I lived in, beyond obnoxious holier-than-thou types quoting him like he was a genius or something.  And don’t act shocked he died.  He was 71 years old.  That’s a long time to annoy the hell out of me.  Is Carlin another sad icon of “speaking truth to power” by desperate, sheltered and too-afraid-to-defend-themselves liberals who are going to put him on a pedestal like Hunter S. Thompson?

Please tell me because I’m ’bout ready to go upside some heads.  What kills me the most are the atheists/anti-religionists are talking about how Carlin is part of some “comedy trinity” (among these types that includes Lenny Bruce and Andy Kaufmann (Y-A-W-N).


Can the corpse-fucking end?



May 08

Clinton: White people love me!

Aryan Guard in Kensington 2

This is where Clinton’s dog foghorn to racist whites in Ky and W. Va. is headed. It’s a shame that the Clinton’s campaign is more than willing to revisit their race baiting-tactics of December and January with this. Especially since they are flat out lying about her white support. It’s sad to think that a Democrat feels it’s okay to implement a Southern strategy to win votes in a race she’s already lost.

What makes this all even more laughable are the blogging Clinton supporters who contort their logic to justify anything. Remember that for the past few months, we’ve been told by these people that Obama’s big wins in Idaho, Utah, Mississippi and Kansas don’t mean anything. Despite the hundreds of thousands of people who came out to vote for the Democrats vs. the few thousand that voted for the GOP candidates, we were told that “there was no way those states are voting for a Democrat in November.” Why? Oh, the reasons change and facts are fudged, but they say, “Those states haven’t voted for a Democratic president in ### years.” Needless to say, I was shocked to see that Jerome Armstrong, among other Clinton-supporting bloggers pushing that W. Va is in play because they gave Kennedy the nod in 1960.



You read that right. W. Va. hasn’t voted for a Democratic president in 48 years and that means it’s great for Clinton’s chances in Nov., but the states that Obama has won, but haven’t voted for a Democratic president in 20, 30, or 40 years are not in play.

The stupid is strong in this one.