After 10+ years of coupledom, one would either assume that I would get over some things or at the least, my husband will get the hint. Well, neither has happened, so here we go:
Things Couples Should Never Share
- Bath towels. If you didn’t take it out of the cabinet and put it on my shelf, you don’t use it.
- Razors. Our hairs are different.
- Banking accounts.
- Thin Mints. I’m almost positive this is in the Torah, Qur’an and Bible.
- Sentimental T-shirts. Do you see me in your De La Soul tee? Nope.
- Computers.
There are other things that go without saying, but this is over 10 years of deep research. I bet people who’ve been together longer can add more. Take vacations. For some reason most of my friends and family with 15+ years of marriage, rarely take vacations with their partners. It works for them!
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I asked the man to give me his list. Here’s what he came up with:
- Toothbrush
- Socks
- Underwear
- Almond Accents (Roasted Garlic Flavor) – [back off bitch... I'll cut you!! Yeah it's like that!]
- Toenail clippers
- Eggplant Parmesan sandwich
Eh… everything else is fair game. Cheerios!
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Just posterity’s sake, I must say that there is no way in hell, I’d use his toothbrush, socks or underwear. GAG. Number 5 is interesting since, you know, he’s been using my toenail clippers. ;P
Okay, she’s never called me on my birthday, so I don’t exactly expect her to call me now.