Why I’ve been silent
I’ve been getting emails the past few months asking me why I rarely blog any more. Some of it was that I got so burnt out on politics that I just shut down. Some of it, is that I won’t want to put just anything on my blog. You can follow me on Friendfeed and see some of the content there. Logic would dictate that I figure out this MediaRSS plugin so that I can import my FF content to here. But the main reason I no longer blog is financial.
Meaning: I have no money.
The stress of constantly being behind in bills, of trying to keep on top of billing has turned me away from writing. Anything I write will be shot through with how broke I am and I do not want to have that be the focus of my blog. But the truth is that due to a dominio effect that started in Spring of 2007, there’s a very good chance of my family being homeless in the coming months.
We spend most of our money on paying late bills and their fees, but we’re also behind on our mortgage now. Having that over our heads has made the effort to get out and enjoy life a little hard. Add in the IRS funds we owe for the past 2 years, it becomes a little suffocating to try to be fun.
We don’t have credit card debt, a car payment or anything like that. We just owe on our house, the IRS taxes and property taxes. When we purchased our home, we got a decent rate, put down 20% on a home that was underpriced for the market. Even now that our home’s value has dropped a bit, we’re still not upside-down on our mortgage. What hurts a bit more, is that even if we were renting, we’d still be in the same boat, but propbably would have been evicted by now. We have no place to go if we lose our house. Nowhere. Many people are lucky enough to have friends and/or family willing or able to help them in dire times. Neither of us can claim that. Nevertheless, the domino that fell in Spring 2007 has created a cacophony of sound we can no longer ignore.
As you know, I work for my husband–our small company of two. While there’s been some industry upheaval, there hasn’t been enough to explain why we went from working 20 - 30 sites a month down to about 10. Even at 10 sites a month, assuming they’re new sites, that’s still barely scraping by. Even if I were lucky enough to find a job outside the home, we’d need childcare for the kids and another car, so my husband can continue his company he started in 1995.
We’re trying. We’re trying so hard to give our kids a good life. We don’t spoil them, but I enjoy taking them to the zoo, botanical gardens and museums. I’ve given up my memberships to the Arboretum and Natural History museum. Instead opting for the museums free days and saving for Arboretum or Descanso Garden trips. Our zoo membership ends soon, so that twice monthly visit will end too as it’s either than or end the hosting on our business website. They’re growing so big, so fast that I can’t afford to get them clothes that fit properly. That makes me so sad.
It’s so frustrating to see all the work you’ve done so much to create topple. I’ve been here before and weathered it, but then I was single and childless. I didn’t have any responsibilities except to myself. I do not find solace in knowing that I’m not alone in this experience, that other families in this country are feeling the same effects. We can all hope for the best and hope that it comes sooner rather than later. That some solution presents itself as soon as possible. Otherwise, this could be the end of my blog as it stands.
Thank you.
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