faboo mama

They used to come on Tuesday mornings, but now they come on Thursday mid-morning. Who is ‘they’? ‘They’ is the GodSquad. The doorknockers full of pamphlets and the glory of the Lord. In my old place, they couldn’t get into the courtyard. But living in a house with full street access is a different story. The first time I ran into the, I tried my old, ‘No hablo engles’. Ha. They’re all Latino, with one Chinese. The 2nd time, I got lucky. The kid didn’t speak English and only had Spanish pamphlets. Once I tried to avoid them by going into the backyard. Unfortunately, the kids were playing by the gate and the lady sat there talking to them asking them to go get mommy. Ugh. The last time I got caught up with them, I was sitting on my porch reading the paper. Three of them descended on me. I let them talk and they offered me the pages. I woefully and loudly said, “I can’t read!”. They turned red, apologized and walked down the steps. They got halfway past the neighbor’s house before they realized I was reading the newspaper. Suckas.

I don’t know what denomination these people are, but the few pamphlets I got from them are scary. One had a picture of a bloody Christ on it the cover and the teaser on front was something like, ‘Armageddon is Nearing! Are you Ready for BATTLE!!!’ (there really weren’t any question marks which is why I remember it). The lady gave my little girl a pamphlet that was “for kids”. Thank goodness the girl can’t read. I flipped it opened and it was saying stuff like, “If your mommy and daddy don’t take you to church, they’ll be in hell for all eternity and you’ll never see them in heaven.” And you don’t get a pony! snort

All of this is just a long way of saying I need a fence.

The Hiding out in my house by faboo mama, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.