Someone take the mic from Bill Clinton

Seriously.

Mofo out there running his mouth like he lost his damn mind. Straight up lies. Now, we don’t exactly expect the truth from Clinton all the time, but either he’s in the early stages of senility/paranoia or he’s just a fucking liar.

Let’s start with today, shall we? Today Nevada has their caucuses. As I wrote, the rules for these caucuses were agreed up by all the candidates. But Crazy Uncle Bill is (again) trying to rewrite history and make it seem like the Obama campaign railroaded all those Nevada Dems in to these caucus rules. What make Bill’s comments so sad? He didn’t even get huffy about them until 2 days after the Culinary Worker’s Union endorsed Obama. Don’t believe me? Do a search and try to find any whining about the rules from Bill before Jan. 16th.

Here’s a simple timeline:

May 2007: Nevada Dems. bring up the rules for the caucuses.
Summer 2007: The entire process is discussed with input from all candidates.
Nov. 2007: State party finalizes rules, the candidates read and agree to them, the DNC ratifies them.
Jan. 8, 2008: Culinary Workers Union endorses Barack Obama
Jan 10, 2008: 5 Clinton supporters of the NSEA file a suit without the knowledge of any of the other members of the NSEA. Indeed, the suit pissed off some teachers.
Jan. 16, 2008: Bill Clinton has a little rant directed toward a TV reporter, full of lies and distortions:

“Your position is that you think the Culinary Workers votes should count: A — It should be easier for them to vote than anybody else in Nevada that has to work on Saturday. That’s your first position. Second, when they do vote their votes should count five times as much as everybody else.

But he’s quick to mention that the Clinton campaign has no involvement in the lawsuit. Even thought Clinton uses the language from the lawsuit to make his case. He fails to mention that the rules make it easier for anyone living in Nevada to vote.
Jan. 18, 2008: Bill Clinton blames Obama for the Nevada State Dem. Caucus rules.
Jan. 18, 2008: Bill Clinton tells a lie about CWU workers…It’s so incredibly laughable, that I’ll have to give you a quote:

“Today when my daughter and I were wandering through the hotel, and all these Culinary workers were mobbing us, telling us they didn’t care what they’d been told to do, they were gonna caucus for Hillary, there was a representative of the organization trotting along behind us going up to everybody that said that and said, if you aren’t gonna vote for our guy we’re gonna give you a schedule tomorrow so you can’t be there. So, is this the new politics? I haven’t seen anything like this in America in 35 years.”

We’re supposed to believe this. I mean…We’re supposed to believe this?

I’ve worked union jobs before and I’ve never had any union official set my hours. The funny thing is that no one in the media caught him on that. It’s such a lie and a bad lie, it’s embarrassing.

Bill Clinton apparently has supersonic hearing, in that in a mob of people while he’s moving away from one he can not only pinpoint the “union worker”, but can hear an entire conversation. In the Bellagio.

Look. I’ve been to various hotels around the world. I hang out at hotel lobbies here in LA. I have hearing that would put in Superman level, except that try as I might, If I’m sitting in a hotel lobby talking to someone, I can not hear what is being said by another group of people 5ft. or more away. If I’m a hotel on the Strip? Forget about it. I have to raise my voice just so my companions hear me and that’s not even when you’re walking through the lobby. Even at The Wynn with their muted casino machines, you have to raise your voice to talk. So Wild West Bill, got any more yarns to spin?

That boy is crazy.

*******

There was the one we all got a chuckle over, Bill Clinton painting Barack Obama as the “establishment candidate”. Now, I don’t know exactly why the media even covered this? Because he’s an ex-president? Okay. Still, it’s another version of rewriting history that just makes us laugh harder at Bill.

Let’s go over that one more time.

Bill Clinton aka Mr. DLC aka Mr. Fucking President who is married to Hillary Clinton aka Ms. 35 Years of Experience aka Mrs. First Lady, who is running for president, painted one of her candidates who he called “kid” a few weeks ago as “establishment”.

Savor that…it’s okay…smile, I know you want to. That bubbly feeling on your tongue turns int sweet delicious laughter right. about. now.

ROFLMAFAO….Feel good, don’t it?

*******

And you have to wonder about this…Bill Clinton stumping for his spouse is certainly no big deal. Look at those people who think Mrs. Edwards is Mama Earth, look at professional women who look to Michelle Obama as a contemporary…spouses do that sort of stuff. Former President Bill Clinton, should be a little more…uh…limited in his campaign actions. It’s like when Marge Schott Former First Lady Barbara Bush was out there stumping for Georgie. It was one thing because she was his mama, but as a former denizen of the White House, there was a tacky, classlessness about it.

*****

Mr. Former President Bill Clinton, we completely understand that this 3rd term means a lot to you. As a former president, you already have a level of security clearance that those other ladies will never have. I get that. And you may even believe that Team Clinton is a good idea. You probably believe that the American public bought into your “co-president” line back in ‘92. But I’ve got to say that you had your turn. Apparently, so did you wife if her 35 years of experience are to be valid. You do a wonderful job of creating improbabilities and making it sound like it’s a truth in your worl.d You attack your opponent. A lot. Obsessively. How about telling us how a 3rd term for you guys would benefit the American public? I see you putting down Sen. Obama for a lot of the same thing you said 15 years ago, but I don’t hear much positive about Team Clinton.

So, how about it? Convince me Team Clinton needs a 3rd term.

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