faboo mama

Yesterday, I told my father I was pregnant. Once again, I got a lecture. Yes, that’s right. When I told him I was pregnant with Ilia (I was 29), he gave this lecture on how hard kids are to raise and how expensive they are and all this bullshit about how I’m too young (yes, he was like 21 when I was born). Blah. Blah. Fucking. Blah.

Needless to say, I wasn’t excited about telling him this time around. I mean, he didn’t even remember her birthday on Tuesday (I doubt he even knows when Chiana, my sister’s kid was born). Anyway, this time it was about birth control, how much our president is fucking up this country (economically) and how we don’t have health insurance–all this ties into how it’s a bad idea for us for have another kid.

What ever happened to “Congratulations”? In all fairness, he wasn’t the only one to be an ass. Most of our friends were assholes about it too. “Was this planned?” “Can you even afford that?” “Gosh you’re fertile.” Yes, I’m fucking fertile. I have ONE child and ONE on the way. In the SIX years I’ve been with my husband. We’re poppin’ them out. Fucking like bunnies over here in liberal pot-smoking California. Jackasses.

The one that pisses me off the most are the assholes who’ve said stupid shit like “You’re already having another and I don’t even have a boyfriend/girlfriend”. Listen dipshit..It’s not about you and your lack of relationship right now. What is the purpose of saying something like that to me? What am I supposed to say to something like that?

Sometimes I wonder why I bother with my friends, but then with my family, what else can I do? In all fairness, my aunt (my dad’s older sister) was very kind about this pregnancy as was my other aunt (married to his oldest brother). My uncles on my mother’s side of the family were really excited and pleasant about it.

I miss my grandmother. I know she would have been really happy about it.

At least she’s not here to pressure me into telling my mother. My mother couldn’t even acknowledge my daughter at Grandmother’s funeral. I had Ilia on my lap and she came up to me to say something and completely ignored my child. And people wonder I think she’s a waste of space.

As a tip for those you on the receiving end of pregnancy news. Shove your insecurities and self-absorbed concerns up your ass and just say “Congratulations”. If you must continue the conversation and delve into personal business, you can ask the due date. Other than that you’re travelling into Tacky Town with your foot in your mouth as sole proof you belong there.

Ilia’s b-day party was Tuesday night. Friends came over for cupcake and ice cream. We still have cupcakes leftover. LOL! Anyway, it was nice, unfortunately Adrian took crappy pictures and too much video.

In her new gift. She loved the umbrella part the best

She got loads of clothes and shoes, so mommy doesn’t have to do laundry for awhile. Yay! I still can’t believe she’s 2. Now if only she’s start talking clearer.

If I ever figure out how to get video up on here, I’ll toss it up.

Well,it’s started. That’s right, the first self-righteous female to blow something out of proportion has assaulted the DDC. First off, those of who have taken the time to email me about this thanks. I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking WTF is she talking about?

For the record, someone had posted a question about marijuana and the effects on the baby if you smoke will pregnant (let me just say, BAD IDEA). She had clearly stated that she didn’t plan on smoking, but was talking about it with a friend and wanted opinions. All those who responded did not condone smoking during pregnancy, and most of us know of people who did and mentioned how their kids have learning disabilities that showed at the age of 3 or 4, despite being healthy babies at birth.

Of course, that meant somehow everyone on the board is a pot-smoking dolt who doesn’t care about her unborn kid. Or at least that was this post seems to say:

It really saddend me to think that some of you really thought it was okay to smoke. Thought that nothing happened to the baby. It really surprised me to see how many of you do it raising other children and don’t see a problem in it. A baby can have strokes if the mother smokes while the child is in utero. You can lose your judgement, drive and crash and kill someone. You think all you get with Marijuana is the munchies? A great little laugh for a few hours, A break from all the stress?? I dont understand it! You are all grown women who by now should know the effects that illeagal drugs have on babies and YOUR OWN BODIES. No, it is NOT okay to smoke either way. I can’t believe even the host of this board even said that she did… what a way to lead the group. I was talking to some friends of mine who were part of the July DDC last year that all moved over to another group off of BZ… telling them about this post, they all came over and checked it out for themselves. I don’t feel comfortable staying on a “support group” that believes it’s okay. I came here to hopefully find friends like I did with the July DDC and I just can’t seem to get past the fact that the majority who responded don’t think there is a problem…

My final post.

ALWAYS CLEAN NEVER UNDER THE INFULENCE!
emphasis all mine!

So, me being the oh-so-tactful person that I am said: See YA! I would put my post up, but the hostess of the board, decided to edit it (and chastise me too!). Meaning she took out the parts where I said that the above poster won’t be missed by me, and the parts where I called the poster narrow-minded. Do we really need people around who can’t even read a damn post making broad, unfair judgement calls on everyone? No. The purpose of the site is to have a supportive area where we can talk about everything affecting us during our pregnancies.

Let me interject here: I believe that I have the right as an American to say what I want. Whether someone disagrees with me or not, has NO bearing on my right to speak. I find it offensive that my posts are edited or deleted without my knowledge AND I’m chastised like a fucking child. I am equally offended that words that I used are deleted while the same words used by others are not. This isn’t something unique to this DDC. One of the hostess of the birth club I rarely visit does the same thing. That bitch takes it upon herself to delete just about every post I enter, and never has the guts to stand up for her convictions. Pathetic loser.

Readers of dKos will recognize the GBCW format…needless to say..she didn’t stay away. Imagine my shock this morning when I log on to see said Mrs. ThoughtPolice complaining some more. About me.

Some of the mom’s that posted were very kind and there was ONE that made it clear who she is and how she is going to act if noone agrees with her. I was not mad at anyone. I was more hurt that someone could think it was okay. And I did not mean being pg but at anytime

What. The. Fuck. Ever. This is my point. She didn’t read the first post, got all kinds of offended and I called her out on it. Then she obviously didn’t read my next post or she wouldn’t assume that I’m all for pregnant ladies taking a toke and posts something stupid like this. Something simple like a lack of reading comprehension is missing here. I could be nice and blame in it on hormones. BUT…Here is my post after the first one had been edited:

It’s a little unfair that my post was deleted. True, it was abrasive, but that’s me. I refuse to sugar coat anything. I don’t understand how someone can make blanket (incorrect) statements about a whole group of people, including me and get away with it. Sarah was able to post this twice, so I think I should be able to explain myself.

I have no problems with differences of opinion. So I call BS on your (incorrect) statement. This wasn’t a difference of opinion. You made an incorrect assumption about a topic, THEN made an incorrect blanket statement on the entire group of women. Then posted a “goodbye cruel world” post using “friends” as back up. I just said it was unfair that you were being judgemental on this whole group who was willing to discuss something that none of us were doing. I didn’t say anything that pot-smoking during pregnancy, but that’s what you want to believe you saw. If anything, you’ve made it clear that you can’t handle viewpoints outside your narrow world.

I’ve been on too many of these boards to know how this works. One person gets offended by something and post their GBCW posts. Everyone rushes into coddle the offended. The offended, then gets offended on something else, then another thing. Pretty soon, we’re stuck on 2 topics of conversation, all so we don’t assault the world view of one person.

Anika

Someone posted something in support of this girls delirium (I’m going to edit and just leave in the good parts):

I read your last post and I think that if people got angry, it means, they’re being defensive and some of the stuff you said might be true for them, other than that, it didn’t even bug me at all because I know that you’re not talking about me. Whaaaaaa??? Do does this mean if I accuse of you and your husband of being ringleaders in a satanic sex cult and you get pissed, then I may have hit a nerve because it’s true? Wow…the logic is outstanding!

I also don’t believe in drugs…How does one not believe in something that exists? I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and drugs. Doesn’t quite work

Anyway, Mrs. Texan Ambassador then replies with more of that brilliant logic:

Thank you… My only question now is Just because some of these women are from California and apparently are liberal.. does that mean that they don’t have the same concerns for their children? I should think not. Yes, I am from Texas, yes, I am a VERY PROUD conservative republican. Does that make me a better mom? a better wife? I never said that. But what I have tried to make a point of that only a few have emailed me about and have given me their support, is that it is important to be responsible.

It’s so laughable it’s almost scary…Nowhere before did anyone mention where they lived or their political leanings. Why? Because IT HAS NO FUCKING BEARING ON THE SUBJECT!!! So, we can see what the Texas equivalent of NCLB has done. LOL!!! God help us if eye color and shoe size is brought up. At any rate, I leave it to you to determine what that means. The bulk of the emails I received tried to do just that. Who knew that Californian = liberal. If that were the case why do we have the 2nd stupidest governor ever?

Anyway, we’re all adults there–at least I try to treat everyone like they’re adults. I do try to watch my language since the post-p
olice whine that kids could see it (but I should mention other people are able to post profanity. I’m just not). Fair enough. One post today was “edited by the host” because I said “crap”. Actually, I said “Holy crap on a stick”. Now go through my other posts and I used the word “crap” as often as I use the word “the”. I’ve used that phrase in 5 other posts. They’re still there. Go through other posts of other users and they also use the world “crap” without being “edited by the host”. Hmmmm. I love that double-standard. Needless to say, I probably won’t be Spotlight Mommy anytime soon. LOL!!!

Happy Birthday, Ilia!!!

Today is my kiddo’s 2nd birthday. I can’t believe it. Anyway, thanks to everyone for their birthday wishes: Liberals ROCK!!! and this is why.

Hiding it

This is a much better pic. I’m actually wearing this outfit on purpose today to hide my belly. I think it’s doing a great job! Oddly enough, I look really stumpy here. I don’t know why Adrian always has to have me fill up the entire frame top to bottom in pictures. I always look so Oompa-Loompaish.

6w4d

Ugh. I just look fat in this pic. I swear my belly is actually hard. I think part of the problem is that I’m sucking in what I can. Just doesn’t work. Anyway, that’s my fat ass today.

Know what I need? Smileys that show how I feel. Like today, I would have a puking smiley…hmmm…It will look like this:

Yep, that’s right Miss All-My-Symptoms-Have-Disappeared feels like crapperoo today. Everything I’ve put into my mouth has disgusted me. My husband just came in from smoking and the smell makes me want to puke.
Not happy.

Anyway, yesterday we went to visit my MIL in OC for Ilia’s birthday. It was so sad, because Ilia was sick. I’m not going to get into how annoyed I was, but my MIL bugs me to no end. When I’m pregnant, it’s worse. She actually accused us of not feeding Ilia because Ilia wasn’t eating. She plainly only wanted to eat ketchup, yet this woman who sees Ilia a grand total of a few hours a month, had an opinion. Like I gave a shit. We took back all the horrible clothes she gave Ilia, except for one outfit and came back home and dumped the sick baby in bed.

I can’t believe she’ll be 2 tomorrow. Crazy. I mean, she’s looks and sometimes act old than she is, but she can’t really talk so that reinforces that she’s a baby. Even though she’s sick, she’s still one of the happiest kids around and today she had me in stitches. We went to get her cupcakes and ice cream for tomorrow. She chanted “ice cream” at the top of her lungs in the store for a bit. I told her to knock it off and she did.

6w4d
Weight: 220
# of Meals eaten: 6
Symptoms:

• Morning sickness
• Gas
• Cravings

Oh yeah, I just realized my tickers are keeping real time. I thought they’d stay static at the moment I post them. Ideally, this would mean that I would go back and mark each post with the correct time, but instead I’ll just start with this one.

I wanted to thank those of you who have expressed concern about my financial wellbeing regarding this pregnancy. I almost want to cry when I think that friends and strangers have extended offers of help that I couldn’t expect from my own family. Thank you. Some of you have suggested putting in a donation button. Besides the fact that I can’t figure out how to edit the page, I’m a little leery in doing that.

Many of you have asked if we need anything. Oh boy…yeah we do. We need to find a place to live in Los Angeles. We need to find a place that is inexpensive and spacious for a family of 4 with mom and dad both working in the home. Ideally, we’d find some way to build our house and just move into there. We also need another car. So if you know anyone selling a reliable sedan, let us know.

Once again, thank you all for your kindness.

I haven’t posted the past few days because I’ve been dejected and busy. It’s such a hassle trying to figure out this MediCal thing. I sent in my paperwork on Wed. I called LAC USC Women and Children’s Hospital to see if I can at least get a pre-natal check up. I was told to come in at 9:30am.

I got in there, spoke to 3 different people, got called by the nurse at 10:30am only to have her ask me if I was going to deliver in their (raggedy old lookin’) hospital. I told her I had planned on delivering closer to home. She told me that I can’t get pre-natal care there if I’m not delivering there. What. The. Fuck? Now why wasn’t I told that the day before. In fact, the day before the lady on the phone said it was no problem for me to go there and deliver elsewhere. Back to this chick–I’m confused, “What do you mean?”. The nurse was a rude little bitch. I yelled and stormed off in a blind rage. What a waste of a fucking morning. I got us all up and rolled past downtown to do this shit?

After calming down (that took 2 hours), I called back to the hospital and spoke to the midwife. She was apologectic and explained their policy. Fine. She also said that she had heard the nurse being a bitch to me and spoke to her after we had left.

That’s fine and dandy, but I was back at square one with OB. So I plugged in my address in Yahoo’s Yellow Pages and got a list of obstetricians in my neighborhood. Started dialing. First option, not only accepts MediCal, but delivers at Cedars-Sinai AND was recommended by my OBs office. I’m going to go through the rest of the list on Monday, but there are tons of OBs around Cedars. I’m sure some of them will take MediCal.

As you can see, I’m almost 6 weeks pregnant. Now you’re wondering what wonderful things are going on in my body. Why I’ll tell you:

Weight: 220
# of Meals eaten: 6
Symptoms:

• Morning sickness (I puked this morning)
• Saliva
• Constipation
• Gas
• Cravings

I’m having a hard time caring about not gaining weight this time around. I guess once you’ve hit 262, you feel like you can surpass that no problem. Today I made fried chicken, cornbread and pot stickers all because they were suggested. If I had cash, I would have made some spinach dip too. GRRRRRRR.

Thankfully my gas is, um, well…passing. No pun intended. Really. I no longer feel bloated, so that’s good. My stomach is still big and hard, so obviously this is the pregnancy and not gas as I was told. Good God, I think I’m going to be huge.

Even though I’m sleeping through the night again, I’m not sleeping well. Due to my stuffy nose, I toss and turn all the time. A weird side effect is that my neck is killing me. I would love a massage, but I guess checking out RC sites is a little more important to my husband at the moment. My side of my right calf is also in pain. It’s a muscular pain, that I just don’t get. So I hurt. Nothing new there.

Everything is tasting salty lately. Like in the last 3 days lately. It’s really annoying, you know. I don’t know if I’m actually oversalting things or if it’s my taste buds. They could be all messed up from the stuff nose.

Today is Tuesday, which means TP Tuesday on the DDC. TP Tuesday is where we take a roll of toilet paper and measure around our waists. I measured myself and it was 12 squares of Angel Soft toilet paper. That’s not bad, but with Ilia my first measurements were 9 squares. I don’t get it. I weigh the same as I did in Aug. 2002, but I’ve added 3 squares of fat to my belly? I’m sorry. I need a moment.

Song I’m listening to right now: The Manifesto ~ Talib Kweli